Garmin Forerunner 310XT
Garmin has shrunk the guts of this baby enough that it looks almost like a standard, if very odd, watch. Metrosexuals might give it a pass, but soul-sucking hipsters could probably get away with wearing it in public.
Vibram FiveFingers KSO
Vibram FiveFingers will make you look like you have plastic gorilla feet. They'll draw curious, often appalled stares from strangers and mockery from your family. Just like going barefoot, except without the cuts, abrasions and icky stuff between your toes. Ugly as a bucket of vomit. Just looking at the shoes is a one way ticket to the uncanny valley.
Benchmade 551 Griptilian
Flips open as smoother than 18-year Macallan. Grippy, textured handle. Well-balanced. Sturdy hinge-locking mechanism. Blade steel rates 58-61 on the Rockwell C hardness scale, meaning it will hold an edge.
5.11 Tactical Light for Life Pro Flashlight
The 5.11 shrugs off the yoke of battery dependence and instead uses ultracapacitor technology to propel photons. You'll never need to buy another flashlight in your lifetime, at least until they can keep your head alive in a jar. High-power pro flashlight pumps out awesome illumination and recharges ridiculously fast. Flashlight will outlive you. Seriously brilliant, blinding — a boon for flashlight junkies.
We wanted to love this skeletonized, futuristic knife, if only because it looks like it might be part Terminator. And we, for one, welcome our future robot overlords.
Gerber Metolius Fixed BladeGerber's Metolius is a versatile, inexpensive and fairly lightweight knife that looks incredibly macho. In other words, it's just what you want strapped to your hip when you pull your Prius into state park campsite #304 and start setting up your REI tent and your portable espresso maker. Looks menacing enough for Rambo approval.